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Because it was not all misery.
Here I am, stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be
Something To Talk About
Tuesday, November 10, 2009; 5:13 PM
Something Nice Back Home - Episode 6 "I'm Still Breathing"
Something Nice Back Home - Episode 6 "I'm Still Breathing"
Now this is the first semi-poetic post about my internship and I might make it bilingual. You know, sometimes words are better be expressed in more than just a language.
The first day, 4th August 2009. I am new, I am refreshed. As if I'm gonna enter to a new world, new chances. I'm shy, sort of panicking. I am handling property and I don't know the right thing to do. I just helped them and I know and they know I still know nothing. After the shooting, I feel glad and relieved. I took a part on brainstorming after that. I was too busy to hold the shinny pager in order to help my eyes stay opened. Oh my God! It's 03.00 already. At dawn me and my friend walks home and we just amazed by how we got this far, the first day.
Day 2, 5th August 2009. I drag myself to bathroom. I bathe. I think today might be an epic. I love to do the shooting. It's like I'm holding a scalpel, for the first time. Holding an actual heart, the very first time. Okay today I'm in charge of property again. Wow, today is another excitement. I have to go home and sleep. I said I'm happy, this is my dream Day 3, 6th August 2009 Today, the producer takes me to see Trans Studio VT shooting It will be shown over Trans Studio Makassar's opening I catch a cold. I cannot breathe and have to wear a masker all the time. It is disturbing, as if gun smoke tries to kill me I am trying so hard, surviving I can't concentrate learning if I'm not well It's 4.30 AM in the morning, whoa! I go home and they told me not to come tomorrow But I won't hear them, I want to learn
Day 4, 7th August 2009 Today I come at the office half past four In this evening I supposed to lay my head on this uncomfortable pillow But I'm still breathing and I have to go to the office Although I just sit there The very first moment I fall then every dream I had are scattered I know nothing and I can't catch up I still wear a mask I bought myself
Day 5, 8th August 2009 Today is my first weekend I've got to stay alive in the next two months I'm going home to rest my head a little bit The night has come and still I can't sleep Tomorrow has to be better. It's a cut-throat out there, I know But this is the world I love
♥ 4th of August til 31st of October 2009 contained my favorite mistake and my best fall down. I learnt to trust myself thru walk alone at dawn ♥
I found a place, so safe, not a single tears This is the best feelings -Avril Lavigne - Innocence-
Something Nice Back Home - Episode 5 "Simple Little Melody"
Home is time when the day sounds like my favorite song ♥
when I tweeted wishful thinking and encouraging words when I see others tweeted to make magical bonds when I hold my 'shinny pager' everywhere so I don't have to talk I don't talk, you wouldn't believe me anyway I don't talk, you wouldn't like my words anyway so I write ♥ when words mean so much like few months after 9/11 when I wrote a poem about them, the lost and heartbreak It was my first poem after all one of my best written words It was when I knew I recognized details and made it works through words
Home ♥ is when everything appeared just as beautiful as I dreamed wakes me up from sleep when I'm going nowhere and just stand still because I know my life isn't as lousy as I imagined
I know I have a wonderful tremendous journey I walk down every rugged road with companions and not just within hours I reach the finish line Zillion times way longer than it looks
I walk the line because it is my own life ♥ not let anybody else takes over I might meet strangers on the road I walk on I'm sorry, if it sounds like I know you too well But like it or not You become a part of my journey, my own story, my life.
Thanks for guest-starring my life You're my simple little melody You matters as you complete the songs I wrote My favorite songs ♥ You made my day You build a home with me
♥Jess/ 00.34 AM/ Surabaya/ Friday/ September 25, 2009 ♥
Something Nice Back Home - Episode 4 "Wake Me Up When September Ends"
I'm going home and these are my major plans
1. Working on my internship report and no procrastination 2.Blog, blackberry, ubertwitter autism. I seriously write a lot and I talk less. 3. Listening to Taylor Swift's Fearless over and over again. By that I mean memorizing all tracks' lyrics. 4. Watching Grey's Anatomy episodes (again): Elevator Love Letter, What a Difference a Day Makes, and Here's To The Future/ Now or Never 5. Watching few episodes of True Blood, Mad Men, 30 Rock, Saturday Night Live until dawn with salad and hot chocolate accompany me. 6. Watching the rest episodes of Damages and Fringe. God, I miss these shows. 7. Sleeping in my own bed 8. Editing the Kadal Family Bali Tour Project 9. Blackberry memory exchange. 1-2 GB. I just want to have a bigger space for all my favorite songs. 10. Eating mom's salad and bolognaise spaghetti + every food made by my sister 11. Waiting impatiently (like a fool) for Grey's Anatomy's Season 6 two hours premiere "Good Mourning/Goodbye" 12. Updating my Emmy Awards full winner list 13. Having a fun and serious talk with Ms. Desi and Valencia Leonata 14. Having fun with Vivi Angela, Levina Dianita, Agnes Olivia 15. Listening and updating to ♥ Autumn's Monologue ♥ the melancholic psychotic playlist 16. I need to know if I have a lot of beta amyloid in my brain because apparently I forget lots of things. It irritates me and affects me a lot at work. But how do I find out? 17. Buy few jackets for the unsurprisingly cold office 18. Reading newspaper everyday 19. Replacing a new me with the old one because the new me doesn't suit me. I need to keep up, think and work more rather than walk like a zombie who won't even care. 20. I want to feel blessed. I thankful for everything I have got.
There's so many plans awaits me at ♥ home ♥ Dear home, it feels odd not seeing u in past 7 weeks ♥ There's a lot of time I feel life is just like a blank sheet, but it doesn't anymore thinking I have home to come back to *ubertwitter*
I'm going home. Back to the place where I belong. And where your love has always been enough for me. *Daughtry - Home*
so Wake Me Up When September Ends. And I'll recharge myself as I always feel overjoyed to do something I've always dreamed of, I once fought and believed in. I want to believe I can count myself on.
Something Nice Back Home - Episode 3 "I May Be Rude, But I'm The Truth"
Something Nice Back Home - Episode 3 "I May Be Rude, But I'm The Truth"
I miss home Home is not always a place Home is time when I still had nerves to worry when I still had guts to say the truth even if satan mocks when I could say what I want when I was not drooling like an idiot and not doing anything because I was too lazy to get up when I wasn't procrastinating when I enjoy some thrill rides even it's scary when I listened a song called "Anyway" and I do everything anyway though no one cares
Home is time when I provoked myself to know that I still can reach the end when I kept breathing when it's 3.30 AM and I worked almost alone to finish everything when I accept sorry and know the pain will not subside because later I found out 3.74 almost worth it all besides, God's grace rains on me when I still had time to care about the future I always wanted when boundaries made me walk on water
The distance are way too long I'm away and be a different, different My hands numb and the energy dies Party ain't over yet, I'm in the euforia I wonder, when this would end? My chances are better than some of you but I'm not wearing my best outfit to pass the interview Oh, what a guilt
I'm not ready if world flips over and I turn from Betty Suarez to Wil-HELL-mina Slater You'll be surprised if I walk like zombies because I once felt to tired to go on Take me back home
Home is time when no one understands but I still do understand myself
Smells like home Feels like home The distance are way too long I need to come back home Help me go back home
Something Nice Back Home - Episode II "Headlights on Dark Roads"
Something Nice Back Home - Episode II "Headlights on Dark Roads"
I'll always miss home
where all I could do was sprawling on the old couch
or in front of my handicapped computer
eat food without looking at them
because I was too busy placed few episodes of TV series I always loved
Home
is where I stay up late at night
eat a bowl of salad and a cup of hot cocoa
working my ass of on school projects, research, or tons of group-do's I always contribute for most
and before my hair is falling out
like someone who suffered metastatic melanoma stage IV
I disregard those works for few hours
and I watched five naive yet inspiring interns
Meredith Grey, Cristina Yang, George O'Malley, Alex Karev, and Izzie Stevens
striving for life, love, and saving lives
so I keep in mind that human live only once
and once God signed the DNR, it's hard to imagine not to breathe
knowing that I left
so I knew
future will not always the same as I hoped and wished for
doctors operate and the patients still die on the OR
there are thousand chances that no one'll listen
but I step up and move forward
Home is where I knew the Oceanic Six survived it all
where they came back to be stranded on an island
because Kate assured me it was not all misery
I knew live will flash before my eyes
those are my greatest hits
so I should make sure if it's worth watching
and perhaps all this time I am the variable, not the constant
Like Jack who's now both man of science, man of faith
everything is possible
smells like home
feels like home
except I'm now miles away from home
I just wanna go home
Jess/ 13.16/ Jakarta / Saturday/ September 5, 2009
fearful memory comes after I decide to be fearless
I'll always miss home
where I could wake up early
read newspaper, headline first
listen to the music that soothes me
inhale and exhale fresh air
read lame-o-novel called Eclipse or else
scan Reader's Digest Asia, the medical, jokes, and feature ones
skim styles on monthly GoGirl! or Looks
plan to seek for movies based on Cinemags
go for internet and spend 10 hours or so
eat yummy food my mom made or buy
I'll always miss home
where my mom would accompany me eat
where my dad would yell if I was too lazy to do such things
where my sister ridiculously dance thru' the hip hop music
where I could eat 7 times a day
where I work on my project without vary distractions
where my bed awaits my tired body
every night when I pray, in search of another hopeful tomorrow
where all I could close my bedroom door
turn on the radio and listen to my favorite music
and wondering my favorite mistake
where love, save the empty
Wah, sudah mendekati hari-hari keberangkatan ke Jakarta. 3 hari lagi saya akan bekerja magang selama 3 bulan. I guess it's pretty funny karena saya seperti tidak ada semangat untuk berangkat. Mungkin mengingat bahwa bekerja di lingkungan yang bukan saya tinggali seperti biasanya membuat saya lebih gugup. Saya pernah merasakan hal ini satu tahun lalu. Berbeda dengan semangat dan senyum yang saya berikan tahun lalu, saya merasa sedikit lebih hampa dan gugup di tahun ini. Sebab banyak hal-hal yang masih belum pasti, lingkungan yang sama sekali baru, saya pun tidak akan tinggal di rumah saudara lagi. Saya ngekos, hal yang pertama kali saya lakukan selama 21 tahun hidup.
Persiapan yang kurang juga menambah rasa tidak siap. Terlebih lagi bayangan yang lalu berkelebat di benak saya. Yang lebih parah, lebih banyak saya bayangkan kegagalan-kegagalannya. Mulai dari ketidakberhasilan mewawancarai narasumber yang kurang nyambung dalam menjawab hingga menumpahkan gelas berisi air di meja makan institut milik Akbar Tandjung. Aduh, tampaknya seperti Betty Suarez kedua, versi sedikit lebih gagal dan lebih pesimis. Wah, taun ini saya harus bertindak minimal seperti Betty. Saya tidak perlu mundur karena walaupun tidak semampu orang lain dalam beberapa hal, saya bukan menjadi orang yang pesimis dan tolol menangisi keadaan seperti yang biasa lakukan.
Lalu saya pun teringat perkataan Amanda, rekan Betty yang blonde dan cantik sayangnya sedikit bloon. Amanda akhirnya mengaku pada Betty bahwa ia iri pada Betty. Semua orang mencintai Betty karena dia Betty. Sementara Amanda sering dipilih karena ia cantik. Selebihnya ia bukan siapa-siapa. Memang saya harus selalu mengingat kasus Amanda ini. Karena setelah Amanda berkata begitu, saya pun otomatis ngomong bahwa "kasian ya yang kaya, cantik, langsing, populer.Karena beberapa dari mereka tentu lebih dipilih tapi lebih karena mereka itu punya sifat2 di atas (ya walau tidak semua yg seperfect itu hatinya buruk sih)... Jadi bahagia saja menjadi orang yang pas-pasan dalam banyak hal. "
Saya juga menunggu banyak berkat dan kejutan Tuhan karena saya saat ini mencoba untuk sabar. Saya mencoba untuk menjalani semuanya dengan tanpa prasangka buruk bahwa semua yang telah saya kerjakan dan saya bangun dengan susah payah akan hancur sebelum waktunya. Hanya karena ada orang lain yang jauh lebih percaya diri memanfaatkan kesempatan mereka lebih keras dari saya.Lagipula saya memiliki wishes yang harus saya mulai jalankan di tahun ini. Di awal 20-an, seharusnya saya lebih dewasa, bukan?!
Yesterday I'm 20 years old.. Yesterday I was a little piece of the devious Wilhelmina Slater. So I was doing everything I could, even playing some tricks. In order to get everything I thought I deserved to. a little piece of Gabrielle Solis. I used to think that I want everyone to look up to me and think that I'm the most beautiful and courageous creature by wearing gorgeous dress and fine shoes. So that others won't see that I'm vulnerable. a little piece of Susan Mayer. The clumsy one. a little piece of Tommy Walker. Headstrong, I cover up my mistakes and leave it hoping that someday another person loves me enough to take the blame. Cause yes it ain't over yet. a little piece of Jack Shephard. Wasting my precious time just to let go. And when I don't get what I really want and love, I'm not so surprised because I could foresee it, no I don't have guts to get what I'm supposed to get. a little piece of Meredith Grey. The one who's always dark and twisty. a little piece of Daniel Meade. I was constantly thinking that I'm not good at what I do. Because others were just doing what's best and it crushed me even more. a little piece of Gregory House. I was playing cynical to everyone who doubted me. But I actually don't believe in myself. a little piece of Bree Hodge. I wanted everything to be perfect in every single way. So I worked hard and be a person other than myself but not in a good way. Because I see people turned away because I am no other than a robot. a little piece of Cristina Yang. Yes I am a robot, I did everything to please everyone and be the number one. But before I climbed to the top, I frustrated. I was willing to get the shinny pager because I saw others see me differently when I hold it.
Today I'm 21 years old. Today and the rest of my life I want to have a little piece of Kate Austen. I want to finally make a right decision, not being selfish because there's a lot of love in the outside world and I want to have a part in it and I will not afraid. I want to believe it was not all misery. I want to fight for what I believe. a little piece of Kevin Walker. I love to be cynical. But I want every words I say is nothing but the truth. Yes, truth hurts but lie's worse. a little piece of Betty Suarez. I will be bold and I want to be myself. I would tell myself that I have million chances like everybody else because I'm everything to the world. I am not nothing. a little bit of Ellen Parson. I should focus on what I'm supposed to be doing. I am smart because I believe I am. a little piece of Olivia Dunham. I'm not afraid if someday I lose someone or something I usually rely on. Because I will give every minutes to remember and I'm not laying there pity on myself. I get up and suddenly the world will be right itself again. a little piece of Miranda Bailey. I don't want to see myself and others making excuses and be a baby. Because I'm a grown up. From now on I don't want to keep asking why I don't get what I always wanted from the start. Because I've seen people being ill and weak and until then, I don't deserve to complain. a little piece of George O'Malley. I'm proud to be myself because of who I am and what I give to you, my friends. I'm running every errands with a smile put on my face. If I have to get nothing. I will be happy because at least you get it. a little piece of Izzie Stevens. I don't want you to worry me. I can stand on my own feet and I am new. I will call you only because you are someone I can count on. And just because I'm down, it doesn't mean you can pity on me. I will someday be everything you can proud of. a little piece of Nora Walker. I make sure everything I love, have and touch will smile because I assure them that their lives like valuable chances one in a lifetime. So we have family and everyone we can call family. We are loved. Every each of us is equal. We are differently unique and we share the same believe and insight just to love and appreciate others.
I put every storyline so I build my own brand new life. I have tons of experiences I adore and I am not hesitate to change and add those name even to erase them. Because later I want to have my name put on the list, the one and only. I will always be here when I start to write my life on my bare hands and transform into someone better than last years.
Adakah yang lebih sulit daripada perasaan sepi di tengah keramaian, keserbaadaan, pelayanan, dan jutaan orang yang mencintai? Rasanya semua terasa lebih rumit lagi jika kita tahu banyak hal-hal positif yang membuat orang iri pada kita, tapi semua itu justru yang menghancurkan kita lebih dalam. Semua orang tentu ingin memiliki harta tidak terhitung sehingga bisa membeli apapun yang kita inginkan, teman-teman yang banyak untuk mengusir rasa sepi dan bosan, dan orang-orang setia untuk dapat dipercaya. Namun dengan semua yang ia miliki, tidak begitu lah yang dipikirkan dan dirasakan seorang MJ. Ia pernah menangis di pundak seseorang dan berkata ia merasa sebagai orang yang paling kesepian di dunia ini. "Don't you see that I'm the loneliest person?" Bagaimana bisa begitu? Terlepas masalah kasus-kasus yang membawanya ke pengadilan dan tindakan-tindakan yang membuat ia dijuluki "Wacko Jacko", setelah kematiannya ini sedikit terungkap bagaimana rumitnya hidup seorang MJ. Sebuah berita pernah kubaca, sedikitnya hal itu diungkapkan oleh kakak perempuan MJ, LaToya. Saat ini kesampingkan berbagai rumor bahwa LaToya dan MJ tidak begitu akrab. Mereka tetaplah saudara kandung. Ketika mendengar kabar dari ibunya bahwa MJ meninggal, kaki LaToya toh tetap lemas hingga tidak mampu menyetir mobilnya sendiri dan hampir menabrakkan dirinya sesampainya di rumah sakit jika ia tidak meminta pada petugas rumah sakit untuk membantunya.
Merupakan hal yang aneh jika LaToya mampu 'memprediksi' adiknya itu tidak akan mampu menggelar konser di O2, London. Namun, mungkin itu adalah sebentuk rasa perhatian dan waspada kepada orang-orang sekitar MJ yang ia curigai menginginkan harta adiknya itu. LaToya banyak mencurigai orang-orang sekitar MJ. Di mana banyak pegawai MJ yang dipecat borongan setelah MJ meninggal, bagaimana ia menemukan bahwa adiknya meninggal di kamar dokter pribadinya (bukan di kamarnya sendiri seperti yang diberitakan di media), bagaimana pengasuh ketiga anak MJ tiba-tiba kembali setelah 'diusir' oleh MJ pada Desember lalu, dan begitu cepatnya aset MJ dikuasai orang lain yang bukan keluarga. Katherine, ibu Jackson, juga mengatakan terlalu terburu-buru jika orang-orang ribut soal pengalihan aset-aset MJ. Bahkan LaToya bisa berbicara bahwa ia yakin MJ dibunuh secara perlahan lewat perencanaan matang.
Namun, selain masalah firasat yang jadi nyata, LaToya menceritakan bagaimana ketiga anak MJ menangis di rumah sakit ketika ayah mereka tidak ada. LaToya membimbing Prince (12), Paris (11), dan Blanket (7), untuk melihat ayah mereka untuk terakhir kalinya. Saat itu badan MJ masih hangat dan matanya sedikit terbuka seperti orang yang masih tidur lelap, hanya bagian dada yang memerah akibat usaha resuscitate. Paris menggenggam tangan ayahnya dan meminta LaToya membiarkannya sendiri untuk mengatakan sesuatu pada ayahnya. Ketika pemakaman, Paris memberikan kalung murahan khas anak-anak berbentuk hati. Kalung tersebut bisa dibagi dia. Paris memberikan satu untuk ayahnya, dan satu lagi ia janji akan ia pakai selamanya. Kalung itu pun bisa menyesuaikan warnanya dengan tubuh. "Daddy, kalung ini di Daddy warnanya biru karena tubuh Daddy dingin, di aku warnanya ungu."Paris yang disebutkan sebagai anak yang manis dan sensitif bahkan masih menangis jika mendengar nama ayahnya disebutkan. Sementara si sulung Prince adalah anak yang tegas. Ia hanya terlihat menangis di rumah sakit, setelah itu ia tidak menangis sekalipun walau sorot matanya memancarkan kesedihan yang dalam. Sementara anak bungsu yang dipanggil Blanket karena kehadirannya dianggap sebagai selimut yang menghangatkan keluarga, membawa boneka MJ di memorial. Si polos Blanket tidak ingin melepaskan boneka itu dari tangannya.
LaToya menyebutkan bahwa ia sedikit terkejut saat Paris membisikkan sesuatu padanya ketika memorial berlangsung. "Bibi LaToya, saya ingin mengatakan sesuatu tentang Daddy di panggung." Tapi ketika mereka menyanyikan "We Are The World", Paris tiba-tiba malu. Dan ketika lagu berakhir, ia tiba-tiba berani dan mengatakan hal yang akhirnya membuat seluruh dunia sedih. "I just want to say that ever since the day I was born, my daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. I love him so much" Seusainya, Paris yang sedari tadi menahan tangis langsung menghambur ke pelukan Janet Jackson, bibinya. Di sebelah Janet, Prince juga terlihat memeluknya. Kakak-kakak MJ membantu Janet menenangkan Paris. Janet dan beberapa dari mereka pun membawanya turun panggung. Beberapa waktu lalu ketika melihat berbagai home videos MJ, rasanya menyenangkan jika melihat masa kecil ketiga anak itu. Prince kecil meloncat-loncat senang ketika ayahnya mendatangkan Mickey Mouse dan Pluto ke rumahnya. Ia menyentil hidung Mickey dan tertawa-tawa. Rambutnya yang masih pirang dan piyama anak-anaknya tampak semakin lucu dengan raut mukanya yang bahagia. "Daddy, thank you for giving me ice cream, you are the best daddy in the world." Ia pun langsung menghambur ke Michael. "That's sweet."balas MJ. Ia juga berkata-kata dengan suaranya yang lembut "Prince, give Mickey Mouse a hug." Si kecil menurut. Setelahnya ia beralih memeluk si Pluto. Ayahnya kembali berkata "Once more, once more." Ia menurut sambil melompat-melompat kecil kembali ke Mickey.
Ketika Paris ulang tahun, jika tidak salah dengar (karena audionya pelan!), MJ bertanya mengenai ingin jadi apakah anak keduanya itu. Setelah meniup kue ulang tahunnya dan bertepuk tangan, ia menjawab "I wanna do what you do." "What do I do?" tanya MJ. "Like dance, on the stage." Seru gadis kecil itu senang, mata biru mudanya memancarkan kebahagiaan. Paris sendiri suka menyanyikan lagu-lagu ayahnya. Sedangkan di kecil Blanket anak yang cerdas tapi pemalu. Blanket juga bisa menari, lho! MJ ingin anak-anak punya masa kecil yang bahagia, belajar dari dirinya sendiri yang tidak mendapatkannya.
MJ, si Peter Pan yang suka mencari kesenangan yang hilang ketika ia anak-anak. MJ yang suka memborong berbagai mainan dan bermain seperti anak kecil. MJ, yang menonton pertunjukkan sulap di sebuah toko mainan bersama anak-anak lain, duduk di lantai, dan bertepuk tangan melihat trik sulap klasik. MJ, yang berebut es krim bersama anak-anak lain di Neverland. MJ, yang mengerjai sutradara Black or White bersama Macaulay Culkin. Semuanya itu tidak lebih dari menggantikan kesedihan masa kecil di mana ayahnya paksakan untuk bekerja. Menggantikan ketidaknormalan masa kanak-kanak. Jika orang lain berargumen kerja di awal usia dan paksaan ayahnya adalah yang membuat ia luar biasa sukses, menjadi living legend, dsb. Lalu mengapa kakak-kakaknya tidak setenar dia? Bahkan, not even close. Jawabnya adalah karena MJ memiliki kejeniusan, kreativitas, keunikan dan 'tingkah laku' yang lain daripada yang lain, ia memiliki dedikasi untuk tidak mengecewakan fans serta hati untuk membuat dunia boleh lebih baik pada yang kekurangan.
MJ sebenarnya tidak ingin ada 50 konser untuk "This Is It", ia hanya mau 10. Namun, ia tidak ingin mengecewakan para fans, sebab ini adalah konser musik come back sekaligus terakhirnya. MJ yang pernah berkata"I don't love tour" pada behind the scene sebuah interview memiliki alasan sendiri, ia benci melihat banyak fans yang pingsan dan konser rusuh. Tapi saat benar-benar di interview ia terpaksa bilang "I love tour!" dan seluruh kru yang ada di sana (dan MJ sendiri!) tertawa terbahak2... "What do you expect me to say?" Ia hanya tidak ingin fans nya kecewa.
Tidak terbayangkan jika sosok Peter Pan ini benar-benar tahu bahwa orang-orang di sekitarnya berpura-pura melayani dan membahagiakan dirinya. Apakah dia benar-benar sadar yang dinamakan teman-teman ini ternyata bukan? Apakah benar kesepian di tengah keramaian itu hanyalah segelintir perasaan yang mampu ia ungkapkan agar orang lain tidak terlalu mengkhawatirkan dirinya?Apakah yang sebetulnya terjadi lebih menggelisahkan dan menakutkan hingga ia benar-benar terpaksa ingat bahwa ia pernah berkata akan mati muda seperti Elvis Presley? Apakah di akhir hidupnya, ia terpaksa merelakan anak-anaknya untuk tumbuh sendirian tanpa dirinya? Apakah ia tahu ia tidak akan sampai pada hari di mana konser itu ada?
Lalu, jika benar ia tahu, apakah ia mondar-mandir seperti sepotong kalkun yang hendak disembelih untuk semua orang rayakan dalam Thanksgiving? Apa yang ia rasakan saat ia menunggu saat-saat itu tiba? Bagaimana jika dia terpaksa menyerahkan hidupnya pada obat-obatan penghilang rasa sakit? Apakah ia sempat mengucapkan sesuatu pada ketiga malaikat yang tidak tahu apa-apa itu? Apakah ia semakin sedih ia tidak akan melewati usia 50, padahal masih banyak yang ia ingin lakukan? Jutaan pertanyaan muncul mengiringi kepergian this "once a living legend".
♥
But he really is, Gone Too Soon. Like a Butterfly, he has made The Greatest Show On Earth for everybody who loves music. He was once Dancing The Dream. And now he's Got To Be There, in heaven. He left us With a Child's Heart, Too Young he's gone. Don't you worry because it is Human Nature. He Flew Away, and we can only Remember The Time when we had Just A Little Bit of Him.
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Doesn't matter whether the world is Black or White, everyone just Wanna Be Startin' Something. So This Is It, Dear Michael. This Time Around just look at us and Smile. Don't you worry for people who loves and adores you. We're gonna Come Together, we just Keep The Faith, and we'll let you know You Are Not Alone. Thanks for Healing The World. Yes, from now on we're gonna look at the Man In The Mirror, thanks to you. Ourselves who are Unbreakable. Whatever Happens, We Will Be There because You Rock Our World and you made some of us had the best Childhood.
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We'll never let you part, for you're always in our heart.
We have to heal our wounded world. The chaos, despair, and senseless destruction we see today are a result of the alienation that people feel from each other and their environment. Often this alienation has its roots in an emotionally deprived childhood. Children have had their childhood stolen from them. A child's mind need the nourishment of mystery, magic, wonder, and excitement. I want my work to help people rediscover the child that's hiding in them.
Michael Jackson - On Children of The World
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He'll never let you part, for you're always in his heart.
I am Jess ; Dark and Twistybright and shinny21 this year.
Waiting for the biggest day of my life 2812!
Educated in Somewhere in Indonesia
I Like: American TV Series
I Dislike: being left behind. You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength. It makes you who you are. ~Derek Shepherd~
Name: Jess Home: Surabaya, East Java, Indonesia About Me: I tend to give explanations by written words than spoken language. So the only way of knowing me better is by reading every written words of mine. So this is me, myself. See my complete profile
Wishin' and Hopin'!
Hearts and Minds
Happiness! God forgives me for I have sinned Loving and Caring Tons of DVDs and TV Series to watch Melancholy slow alternatives music/film score My N95 8GB back My shinny pager Curve 8900 ♥ Strength to face every passing days Hopeful and Strengthen Beautiful words flow through me Bring lots of drama~
Love/Addiction
Piece of My Heart
I Do.!
These things !!!! I love HEART they're so addictive yet I missed the most
LOST Grey's Anatomy Brothers and Sisters Desperate Housewives Fringe Heroes American Idol
Happiness!
* Jess Part Deux
November 2007