Life is a Battlefield! I never meant to start a war!.

137 Sekunden

Rules & Regulations

Scary Monsters and Super Creeps

Welcome to jessicahanafi@blogspot.com.
Hush & Listen up!

You're not allowed to:-
-Copy, Rip, Spam, Steal & more...!

If you hate me, kindly click the red 'x' button on the top-righthand corner of the screen.
If you love me, please stay to enjoy or take a look at the other side of mine * JESS' trash can

or simply search for words and music that could define me at * JESS' Tumblr

This worksheet/pensieve is decent proof that I always OVERTHINK EVERYTHING
Remember to leave a comment below each posts before leaving.

Something To Talk About

Saturday, January 14, 2012; 9:03 AM

Where All Odds Are Against You

Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother

I haven't read any books these days. Often I find myself in the need for a brain spa but I was too exhausted. This book was bought before I got into Jakarta but never got a chance to finish. So, my friend mentioned and I read the controversies. Strict parenting in a liberal country? I supposed that's worth to catch! Well, old fashioned and stereotypically Asian, that's what some of the critiques remarked. A naturally odd method to do when everybody else is now supposedly have personal point of views and choose what's best for themselves.

I never seem to comprehend what 'Chinese totok' means. Yeah, everybody talks about the conventional wisdom back in my hometown but I never had the full description let alone the history and philosophy. I now let the epiphany comes from a scene in last Sectionals competition in Glee. You know every Gleeks adore Mike Chang, 'other Asian'. He's the adroit dancer who's a Chinese-descendant (and no relation to Tina Cohen-Chang --'Asian', who also is a potential singer and dancer if Rachel Berry and Mercedes Jones didn't outshine her). Mike's father believed it's shameful that Mike is into dance and Broadway instead of enrolling for Medical or Law school in Ivy League. Mr. Chang seemed to always look at art in disgust. They're seemed to have a definite list of "what's the most glorious career", "the most useful intelligent job". Therefore, to achieve 'the title' children are drilled by the prodigies and intellects to the extreme in order to achieve academical approval from school or eligible well-known institution, since the youngest age. The condition here applies to some cultural construction (oh this word is getting overrated!) where business acumen is also the objectives while raising kids. But to differ, in a country in Europe or USA perhaps, art prodigies are everywhere or at least aren't banned: ballet or piano whiz.

Well, let's put aside what is considered as good in where.To breed prodigies and savvies, I believe parents inevitably are the core ingredients. Chinese parenting quadrupled the fact. Children are supposed to obey every words their parents say. But is that so? If they are the core, don't the children own an identity and a choice to make? Before I started to be a lot more sentimental than I could, here's to begin with. On the back of the cover, this book summarize: "Chinese parenting is the one of the most difficult things I can think of. You have to be hated sometimes by someone you love and who hopefully loves you, and there's just no letting up, no point at which suddenly becomes easy. Just the opposite, Chinese parenting , at least if you're trying to do it in America, where all odds are against you -- is a never ending uphill battle, requiring a 24-7 time commitment, resilience and guile."

I managed to summarize three significant elements of the book (read: Amy). Here we go:

Very Strict Parenting
Amy throws away the card Louisa drew and strongly criticized that it wasn't good enough. She thought it's a shame for Lulu because she could do better than one piece of hand-written greeting card. Amy then compared the effort with her own. Amy had woken up earlier and did the household chores. Even designed a car wash pass she did herself for a birthday compliment. Amy, tenaciously demanding, would never asked the girls what they want to do. I had to giggle in a page where Lulu portray her as Lord Voldemort. Lulu, who's always been a vigorous rebel, has a never ending battle with her mom and so does Amy.

Devil in details.
That would be such a perfect persona for Amy. Amy is very precise in determining how's the kids future would be. "Always check your answer three times!" There, she began with simple instruction and then alarmingly followed by measure-by-measure instructions. (Some of you might find) these horrifying instruction sheets were precisely written, by representing finger tapping or crescendo in pop-culture terms. Almost every line can be described as pop-culture phenomena (yes! neglect the idea that she doesn't own a TV, although TV is prohibited for children like most of their times) 'first run is Taylor Swift, second run is Lady Gaga, third run is Beyonce' kind of thing. Piano and Violin. Read the interesting part in Chapter 32 regarding symbols. Well, I am aware that Chinese does a lot of symbolic interpretation. Amy never chose her plans by accident, it always stands for specific purposes. Violin, for instance, symbolized control, excellence, refinement, depth. She definitely never want to miss a thing.

No Room to Breathe
In chapter 5, Amy wrote "There's an old Chinese saying that 'prosperity can never last for three generations'. She challenged if there's ever a longitudinal survey that could measure the pattern. I believe this is why my parents always encouraged my academic persistence since I was in elementary high school so that I never underestimate my predecessors' struggle. Despite the laid-back surroundings (read: Western culture), there are times when Amy was told to slow down and she had to think about her kids psychological condition. Kids' rights and so on. Advanced level of hard work and no room to breathe method are paid of in some way. Personally, that top down parenting cost the Amy's children immeasurable leap of faith more than average situation. In this case, Sophia's math is two level higher then her classmates. The key is, that Amy knows what to do and what makes her children. If kids are getting used to ponder leisurely, being unplanned but often too abrupt in deciding, these habits might lead to a further inefficient output. I think persuasion is needed.

So ...
Well, there's nothing wrong with these pattern of parenting. Top down Chinese parenting or let loose Western parenting? I think it depends on the family, parents and kids characters, commitment and endurance. Despite the evil exposure of Amy Chua along with her 'old-school' parenting (ooh I can think of a better adjective I made her sounds evil too), I learned that she was doing it for her kids because she calculate everything. That doesn't make the opposite type of parenting is clueless too. I can judge these very little fact (read: perception) without knowing what might have occurred in their lives.

But the simplest thing I learned is that if parents think they know best, they have to let the kids now by walking the walk. Ooh and please make sure children understand why they're doing what parents want and how would it be in the future. In the mean time, if parents let the kids live freely, I think it's best for them to understand the consequences. What a normative rule to write! Geez. I figured, stereotyping can be deceiving. There's no need to associate some culture with the type of parenting, if that bothers you. Believe what you believe and make the decision considering what's best for the sake of being happy. What makes you happy? A freedom or some kind of fulfillment. It can be both, though. But the priority might change as well depend on the condition. It'll be an endless argument but ... yeah please stay happy and grateful with the choice even where all odds are against you. I am now on my way to sense that too :)

Labels: book, review, thoughts

0 COMMENTs [What's Done Is Done]

Remains of the J

The Constant

Dream A Little Dream Of Me

If it was meant to be it's meant to be

I am Jess ; ~~Dark and Twisty~~ bright and shinny 23 this year.
Waiting for the biggest day of my life to actually happen!
I am so glad that English reduce sarcasm and insecurities no wonder I'm unconditionally devoted to it
Educated in Somewhere in Indonesia
I Like: American TV Series and being antisocial in a beautifully weird way
Direct a seriously overrated mainstream films to help you live, write a complex film or two to help you rest in peace ♥
I Dislike: devious social-cultural construction

You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength. It makes you who you are. ~Derek Shepherd~
Jess is delusional whimsical unicorn, verbally-challenged, a natural born shape-shifter ♥

* Facebook
| * MySpace

bold, italic, ~~strike~~, underline

Name: Jess
Home: Surabaya, East Java, Indonesia
About Me: Share explanations by written words than spoken language.
See my complete profile

Wishin' and Hopin'!

Hearts and Minds

Happiness!

God forgives me for I have sinned

Sharing thoughts

Tons of DVDs and TV Series to watch

Alternative tracks/film score

Favorite tracks, lullaby I always fall for

Contemporary Dance

My N95 8GB back then

My shinny pager Bold 9900 ♥

My Silvery Cheerio iTouch 64 GB ♥

Poems and tweets

Dreamer and Doer

Love/Addiction

Reciprocity

Sort Of Like Family

These irreplaceable bastards!! I love HEART They Asked Me WHY I Believe in You

LOST

Grey's Anatomy

Flash Forward

Brothers and Sisters

Desperate Housewives

Modern Family

Fringe

Pretty Little Liars

Community

Ugly Betty

The Vampire Diaries

American Idol

So You Think You Can Dance

Damages

Heroes

Gossip Girl

Nikita

Glee

The Thing That Counts is What Inside

TV couples who wallpapered lives

Jack/Kate

Meredith/Derek

Izzie/Alex

Claire/Charlie

Mark/Olivia

Blair/Chuck

Stefan/Elena

Kitty/Robert

Kevin/Scotty

Cameron/Mitchell

Olivia/Peter

With You I'm Born Again

Very recent episodes I've observed from 1 to 5

Grey's Anatomy 7x07 - That's Me Trying ***

The Vampire Diaries 2x08 - Rose ****

Modern Family 2x07 - Chirped **

Brothers and Sisters 5x04 - Righteous Kiss ***

Desperate Housewives 7x06 - Excited and Scared

Glee 2x06 - Never Been Kissed ***

Gossip Girl 4x07 - War at the Roses ***

Nikita 2x02 - 2.0 - **

Pretty Little Liars 1x06 - There's No Place Like Homecoming ****

Song Beneath The Song

New favorites to the hammered iTunes

Dia Frampton - Hearts Out to Dry

Sarah McLachlan - Stupid (Mark Bell mix)

Mark Isham - About Today

Jason Reeves ft. Kara DioGuardi - No One Ever Taught Us to Hide

James Morrison ft. Jessie J - Up

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

The Wrath Of Con

Memorable Films which commemorate poignant/hilarious/dramatic events

Moulin Rouge

Atonement

A Beautiful Mind

Gie

Never Let Me Go

Ada Apa Dengan Cinta?

Brokeback Mountain

Girl, Interrupted

American Beauty

A Better Life

We Are Marshall

Rain Man

Amelie

Black Swan

Fiksi

Serendipity

Strangers In A Strange Land

Person of Interest

Come Play Wiz Me

* JESS' Tumblr

* JESS Part Deux

* Ms. Desi

* Ms. Joanne

* Valencia

* Eva

* Cindy

* Schoen

* Ardina

* Berline

* Carissa

* Rendy

* Christina

* Silviana

Because You Left

If at First You Don't Suceed, Lie, Lie Again

March 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

September 2008

October 2008

May 2009

June 2009

July 2009

March 2010

April 2010

May 2010

June 2010

July 2010

August 2010

March 2011

April 2011

May 2011

July 2011

August 2011

February 2012

Where the Wild Things Are

TIME
The Tale of Three Cities
Some Things Last Longer Than The Other
Do We Ever Part?
The Tree of Life (2011)
It's Kind of a Funny Story (2010)
A Force to be Reckoned with: TEDx Jakarta
Kejutan/Rutinitas
For Jess, Forever Ago
You Take My Troubles Away

Please Do Talk About Me When I'm Gone

Thank You!

Designer: Yours Trulyâ™¥

Icons: I II III IV V

Others: 1 2

Hosts: x x x

*Please DO NOT remove the credits!
Thanks a lot! :D